We were up at a lake resort in Minnesota several years ago when I first met one of my future brothers-in-law. I had to run out to grab some supplies, so I invited him to come along. As we pulled away, I turned on the radio and asked what kind of music he liked. He responded as many of us likely would in that situation: “I like all kinds of music.” Unsatisfied, I pressed him – “C’mon. Who is your favorite artist?” He paused and considered. “I guess probably N’Sync.”
Listen, I do like all types of music, BUT I’m not a huge fan of the boy band genre. I have nothing against those who are per se, and I fully admit they are talented; I just…I just don’t like it.
I think the radio remained off and I changed the subject to soccer.
When we returned from the store, I shared what I had learned with Emily. “I don’t know if I can love him, babe,” I told her.
Now, I was being dramatic and silly, but what if I wasn’t? What if I let something ridiculous like a difference in musical taste prevent me from extending love to this guy who was going to marry my sister-in-law? What if I let a difference in musical taste prevent me from extending love to anyone, for that matter? I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work, this love thing. I don’t think I’d go so far as to call myself an expert on the subject, but I feel confident that it’s not supposed to be so shallow or fair-weather. I probably could have faked it for a while – I could’ve been congenial and fraternal at family events – but after a while I likely would have stopped trying. Our relationship, our interactions, our connection would have been hollow and fallow. All because I was pretending to love, because my love was lazy, because my love was inauthentic, because my love wasn’t really love at all.
What we’re called to, all of us, is a love that is real and genuine and authentic. What we’re called to, all of us, is a love that works to overcome slights and differences and troubles and misunderstandings. What we’re called to, all of us, is a love that sees a beloved child of God in each face we encounter, regardless of their musical taste, their affiliations, their orientation, their language, their ethnicity, their personality, etc. What we’re called to, all of us, is a love that is unconditional.
And what in the world could that look like?!
As we continue looking at Romans 12 and considering how we might allow our minds to be renewed and our hearts to be transformed, let us meditate on the silly or subtle or selfish ways we might be withholding love from others. We all have room to improve as we seek to be unconditional.
Sam
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